Add to Technorati Favorites

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Mind

Eons of shattered silence playing in loops.
Fragments. Humming. Recollection.
Unspoken but in the depths of the nether-conscious.
A poignant memory. A vaguely familiar melody. An amalgam of past, present, and future.
It churns, whirls, connecting, dissecting, breaking, constructing.
There is no terminus and then there is.
A stroke of brilliance followed by a frothy gray gait into fluff and stuff.
All unidentifiable yet so familiar.
It beckons, calls, goads, instigates, but never controls.
Hints of life. Deja vu. Out of body. Out of mind. Within the world. Without it.
Here. There. Gone. All the same.
Infinity of being. Time is nothing.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Finding You

Mind numb but burning
I wish I could feel more
See the fire within you
But the flames inside me drown my vision

Passion swallows my soul 
So much that I cannot find yours
I wish I could escape my depths
To explore your profundity 

I need a ray of light
A beam that illuminates 
the crack under the door
A sign that you are there

I see a shadow that gives hope
It looks so graceful and kind
It beckons me to follow
But I cannot be sure

Is it you?
Are you there?
I'll turn the knob and find out
And if it's not you I'll live

I can be brazen when I'm not deluded
The cloud of doubt hovers over me
But my passion will melt it
And I will know for sure

The inner caveman is bold
He is territorial
He will tell it to you straight
Even if it is a grunt

Funny it would be 
To grunt sweet nothings
Into your ear...
By now you're swooning




Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Apotheosis

A tender heart is only fit for pain;
The world thinks gentle things invite a prick.
One's love too freely given bids disdain;
A treasure needs a box both hard and thick.

Make safe your heart; grow rings on rings of wood
While fields of garish flowers die below.
The hand that picks them soon forgets they stood,
But you'll remain—a skeleton of snow.

Or slough off growth entirely; be the man
That Nature strives to shape, but always fails.
Become a god to rule the terrene span—
A haughty statue that no life assails.

But know, though flesh is prone to bleed and peel,
A rock, once duly scathed, can never heal.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Sadness


I am the happiest sad man you will ever meet.
I am happy and optimistic about almost everything
But in my heart is a seriousness
A sadness
A sharp-bladed truth
But the sadness is not something I do not want

It binds me to a purpose
It shows me a path of symmetrically methodical exuberance
Each step is meticulously paved and positioned
Very few can or want to follow it
Because it is not a follower's path
It opens up to be formed and led by the force of that sadness

The inner sadness that brings order and sensibility
It does not bring tears or pain or anguish
It brings stability and pragmatism to a world run amok in the fantastic
It is the sadness that allowed there to be a foundation to fantasy
It is true fantasy, and therefore is not fantasy

It is truth
And it is mine.
A burden, but a blessing
As it weighs down it teaches
As I struggle I am strengthened
I embrace the sadness

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Truth

There is a point at the tip top of the tallest building
It means nothing.
There is a summit on the highest mountain
It means nothing.
There is a spot in the depths of the human heart that can only be found by true seekers
This is everything.

I float on clouds for days and weeks in an endless aurora
The peace, the calm, the progress never stops
There is no ceiling but the infinity of light and space
Continuity and complexity come from the simple, rawness of matter untouched
But it all has the same origin and goes to the same place
Only souls of men can choose this complexity or writhe in simplistic instability
The great perfection in this complexity is God, and we approach him or we balk in ignorance
For if it is done in pure knowledge, we deny our progression and our defiance destroys us

I cannot be taken from this path
The light and truth has penetrated my soul and filled my heart
It beats for life, love, and complexity
It beats for Godliness and charity
It cannot contain the glow
The fire burns and needs to fill the great expanse
A desire to love, teach, create, and grow into the everlasting
No bounds exist
I, we, all are limitless potential.

Giving in

He has taken you
You have no more control
You have been slowly coaxed into a tar pit
The sludge silently swallows your clean human skin, catapulting your spirit into a fiery chasm of ineptitude and dalliance.
You cannot feel anymore
It is all the same
You only notice ever so slightly the extremes
If there is too much noise it is garble and delicious debauchery to you
If there is too much laughter it is the tender kneading of a shiatzu massage
Your lasciviousness is frighteningly predatory
You are becoming a demon
You ooze an animal irrationality and feed it with raw meat
You see no need to turn
You cannot bear the sun
You do not see the sun
Only in fairy tales
The dark is real
The dark is palpable
The void and vacant nothingness is tantalizingly tacit in your request to rule it
You are your worst fears, doubts, pains, and nightmares
You feel no security and slide into the comfort of a momentary pleasure
It is all malleable, changing, shifting as the wind on the dunes of infinity
You are falling in a shaft, a chasm of endless futility
Suspended but falling
There is no hope for progression in your eyes
Just a faded reflection of a jaded pragmatism
It feeds your nothingness and soaks you to death a thousand times
Forever

Saturday, June 28, 2008

I wish to trudge the mud

A distant rumble of a car engine
A whisk of wind
A bird chirping
The flip flop of my flip flops fittingly sounding off as I walk
The sun is high.
The day is hot.
Few leave their air-conditioned caves,
But I walk.

At night now I hear the dull roar of a plane overhead.
Those same cars whish by.
I hear the hum of the air-conditioners.
But otherwise still night
The birds have gone to sleep.
There are no crickets in this town.
Two young girls peddle by on bikes gossiping about the inane frivolities of a somewhat pointless life.
And then the sprinklers go off giving life to this desert.
The cool water makes the air thick and refreshing.

The day as always, has been full.
Full of work mostly, and little reprieve.
I hope to one day get a little and I think the day is vastly approaching.
I see the twilight of my summer work just as I see its promise emerge.
It has been interesting, consuming, and altogether a bittersweet symphony.
I don't want to think too much on it now because that is all I do.

I'd like to escape life for a while.
Run free from the restricting bonds of time to do anything or nothing and not feel guilt, pain, or pleasure.
To be free of everything with meaning would give way to nothingness.
It would be drowning.
It would suffocate life and make it worthless.
Oh worthlessness! I envy thee.
Well, we can't have that.
So onward I trudge.
Wishing it were through mud, but only sand in this desert.